BEZUBA, PART 10

~BEZUBA~

~PART 10~

After Maan left Geet went to prepare Dadimaa’s breakfast in main mansion before the folks there woke up i.e. Divya n Annie. Then she went to Dadimaa n fed her with her hands after that they talked. Afternoon a designer came n took Geet’s measures n asked what kind of clothes she wanted. Geet was hesitant but she told whatever she was asked for. Later, she wandered the big garden of mansion. It was beautiful with cropped, lush carpet of green grass n all kind of flowers. She loved it n could stay there for hours staring at the beautiful roses. The smell both calmed n fascinated her when her life was just crumbling and sinking into a baseless pit. She had a feeling it was just going to get worse. Somehow she always knew and her sixth sense was never wrong.

 

 

 

 

It went on like this for a whole week. Same routine, same days, same nights. To Geet it seemed time had stopped. Nothing happened. Like she was trapped in a parallel universe and what hurt most was Maan being devotionally aloof. She talked-signed n wrote-n he just listened sometimes awarded her with a nod or hmm. He made her feel like a disturbance. Like he didn’t want to do anything with her n she was just a nuisance to him.

 

Geet was never one to be bound. In the confines of her family traditions n odium, she had found her independence. Many a times, she snuck from the house and had gotten few friends in village animals, trees, children and old people who were alone just like her. But here only Dadimaa showed some interest n even she couldn’t talk much because of her condition. The garden seemed no more than her extended prison.

 

She tried to be happy, as much as she could. She had learned, no matter what happened if you adjusted n accepted things n kept yourself happy, you would be fine. But that wasn’t working, not anymore. Back in Hosiyaarpur she was more like a servant n long back had stopped expecting but here… god, that new start theory had messed up with her mind royally. Coming this away from Hosiyaarpur n her old life, with Maan, she had started hoping.

 

Which was wrong, she should be content with what she was provided. She had roof over her head, food to fill her stomach n a friend in form of Dadimaa who understood her heart, and all this without any kind of abuse or cost… still she couldn’t being selfish. She couldn’t stop wanting more. And, it was wrong.

 

Maan was not the only one with walls around. She was just the same. She smiled n made everything seem normal. She hid that it broke her whenever Maa n Annie passed rude comments; over the period it had become unbearable, the servants too were very uncooperative. They all searched for chances to degrade her. All this was taking a toll on her. Hiding was equal to lying. Maan didn’t see her as wife but he was her husband. And she was lying to him. Before she had never felt like this, even when she lied at home n went to the old ruins or when sometimes she stole sweets from the kitchen. The guilt of hiding was nothing less than a slow poison.

 

Only if he had showed little interest she would have told him everything. Complained n cribbed. She didn’t want anyone’s bad but to share was okay, right? Though it wasn’t possible, things weren’t good between Maan n his mother n he talked rarely to Geet. One sided blabbering wasn’t fun n didn’t counted as conversation, did it?

 

 

 

 

When Maan reached home that evening, he found Geet at her usual place, in the garden sitting on grass beside the roses. Her face was peaceful, her beauty overwhelming that of the flowers. But she wasn’t happy. Like a rose out of bloom, she was withering, the color of her happiness fading. Maan didn’t know what to do. He had been ignoring her n not paying attention to her needs. His work ate up his time n he just kept her out of his thoughts. He was behaving mean n that was having an effect on her. It wasn’t fair to the girl he had brought away from everything that she had always known. New things were amazing; as they got old you felt trapped in monotony n Maan knew the mansion wasn’t enough for her. She was practically imprisoned in the huge structure.

 

But he didn’t want her to expect anything from him n yet he wanted to give her all. His conflicting emotions were something Maan desperately desired to get rid of. It made his mind a ticking bomb, a little more pressure n-

 

Geet felt his presence n looked up, her lips stretching into a broad grin. It was forced. His insides ached in urge to engulf her to him n make everything right magically. But he could never be the reason of her smile. Magic didn’t happen in real life.

 

*App kab aaye?* She signed.

 

Bas abhi. Maan now could understand her signs more easily. He started to go inside n she followed.

 

*Office me kya hua?* Geet asked knowing he wouldn’t tell anything. She did it everyday, and everyday his answer was just the same.

 

Kuch khaas nai.

 

*Ufff yeh kabhi apna answer change nai karenge kya?* Geet removed Maan’s coat twisting her lips making a baby face.  His skin burned with her innocent touch. *Aapko pata hai maine aapki study saaf ki, khud se.* She signed proudly when he just wanted her to stop. *Maine apka koi saaman idhar udhar nai kia bas arrange kar dia. Agar phir bhi kuch na mile toh aap mujhe boliyega, mai dhundh dungi.* A few moments passed where she waited for him to utter some words of acknowledgement if not appreciation. She smiled despite the searing pain in her chest. It was so difficult to understand him. *Aapko bhuk lagi hogi. Fresh ho jayiye mai khana-*

 

Maan held her hand n jerked her to him. Kyu kar rai ho tum yeh?

 

Jolted by the sudden aggression Geet stared at Maan’s face. *Maine kya kia?* She wanted to sign but he held her intact, digging his nails in her shoulders. He wanted it to end once and for all. Geet wriggled, her natural instincts working. This wasn’t like when he had held her in bathroom. He seemed positively furious as he gazed hard into her eyes, his body tight with anger. She wanted to break free but he held her tighter to him, their bodies pressing against each other while his face came dangerously close to hers. She must have done something terribly wrong. Geet stopped struggling and that brought him to his senses.

 

Maan left her then raked a hand through his hairs turning again to face her.Tumhe samajh nai aata mai tumse dur rehna chahta hu? Tears filled her eyes, not because of the outer pain of his harsh hold but inner strike. Like Annie n Maa he said it too. Mera khayal rakhne ke lie servants hai mere paas. Mai office me kya karta hu, maine khana khaya, mai zinda hu ya mar gaya yeh mera concern hai naki tumhara. His angry eyes slid to her lips n despite his harsh words, something vulnerable burned inside her. For a moment Geet thought he would kiss her n they would make up. But when her idiotic dreams got a life.

 

He started to leave. Geet blocked his path. Hato mere raaste se. Maan growled amazed at her foolish courage. Here he was trying to save her from himself n she just wasn’t ready to leave him alone.

 

She shook her head rapidly n moved her hands. *Akhir aap chahte kya hai? Maine aapse nai kaha tha mujhse shadi kariye ya mujhe apne saath rakhiye. Agar aapko mujhse problem hai toh mujhe bas ek baar me bata dijiye, mai abhi yaha se chahi jaogi n kabhi apna chehra nai dikhaogi aapko.*

 

Mujhse dur jane ke bare me sochna bhi mat tum. Tum yahi rahogi, issi ghar me, meri ankho ke saame, samjhi tum? She stood still. SAMJHI TUM?

 

Geet shook her head. *Mujhe mat batayi mujhe kya karna hai aur kya nai, kyuki aap mujhe apna kuch nai maante par mai… aapko* She came forward n signed slowly now so he understood clearly what she wanted to say. *Mai aapko apna pati maanti hu. Aap dariye mat mujhe badle me kuch nahi chahiye. Bas mujhse aapki care karne ka haq mat chiniye, kyuki wo mai wo nai kar paogi.* Tentatively she reached forward to touch his face but he stepped back. She understood he needed space n left instantly from there.

PRECAP- 

Unstoppable Geet

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